WHY DO I FELT THIS WAY......

March 27, 2010 / 11.35pm

YA ALLAH….why do I felt this way……What’s wrong with me…..It’s so painful, hurt, sensitive and emotional……. I don’t understand why…..

YA ALLAH……I was not wanted……always to be blamed……always to be used by everybody around me….…..since small, I was left alone……. Always cried for no reason…….hoping for one fine day……I was blessed with love and caring people around me……

YA ALLAH…I need love, need a guidance and I need somebody who care as much as I care for everybody…..What else is left for me in this world…….I have living in the past with so much pain and hurt…why cant I be like anybody else in this world…… happy and enjoy life to the fullest…

YA ALLAH……I remember since small, I always hope one day, I will meet somebody who is loving and caring like me…….somebody I can share whatever is inside me….the truly me….Allah is great….yes he gave and take with reasons….yes for sure……but I cant handle alone what is given to me…….It’s too much pain n hurt….so much burden…. I can’t carried on like this…...not at this age…. I can’t heal my heart anymore…..

YA ALLAH….…U have given me life for 50 years now…..not that I’m not grateful…….yes syukur sangat2……but I have tried my best to carry on this long……I have bear hardship and I have no more strengths to live like this anymore…..I have given all my best to please everybody…… why can’t they try to give me the same.

YA ALLAH…….please give me a chance to live again in another world…..I beg u Ya Allah…one more chance to live……………to be with wonderful people around me……people who is as caring as me……people who I can share everything……….love, joy, hope, happiness, hug and kisses….….I long for all that moments…….

YA ALLAH…..I smile when I want to scream, I sing when I want to cry, I cry when I’m happy and laugh when I am hurt…….

YA ALLAH…..I can’t fight this feeling anymore….I’m not strong enough……I have no strength left anymore…….please let me go…..go with pride….go with love and with passion……I’m gone…gone… gone with the wind.

YA ALLAH…..I need love, need hug and kisses from everybody I care for……..……I want to fly, fly…..fly far away from my life now…..bring me somewhere I can find truly love ……….. honest love…… matured love…..passion love……caring love….

YA ALLAH…….How long can I stay here…….give me your blessing…..please let me go. I don’t want to hurt anybody and I don’t want to be hurt too. I don’t want to stay….not any longer……..